A Tribute To My Father On Father's Day

My dear father.....my dear Bowji
i miss u badly... as if u have gone just now
When my son wished me on Father's Day
i thought of u and questioned myself with remorse ...???
Why...why such formal Days' were not observed
when my father was alive.....
i could have dared to wish my father
and express my deep love for him.....
Dear Bowji ...... i loved u very much, i loved u.....
but never expressed..... never expressed....
Dear Father.... i weep.... i sob.... i weep.... i sob....
let no one notice.... that i am weeping bocz.....
i never expressed my love for u....
how insane .... i was.... how cruel.... i was....
Today.... when my kids get serious... i get disturbed
even on telephon... i put ten questions.... to my kids,
what happened. ???.... why are u so sad ??? why r u so down ???
but on my part ..... i remained gloomy and remorseful.....
as if i had some hidden distance from u
now i realise, how u survived with ur son....
having no attachment for u......
Please .....please.....my dearest Bowji.... my dearest father
i loved u very much.... forgive me for my remorse for u...
for the reason not known to me.....
i could not dare to show .... how much i loved u .....
Why such Father's Day were not observed in those days..
so that for formality sake.... i could have shown my real love for u
if souls meet in heaven, i pray and wait for the day to meet u in heavens
U were a man of purity of heart, simple and kind hearted .....
why i could not enjoy ur company d way i wish to enjoy with my kids....
i cannot see my kids going away from my heart.....
i curse myself for being so cruel ... so selfish... so selfcentered....
but i could not realise ..... when i was a kid... i was a killjoy....
i never realised.... how a father feels when a growing child remains silent and gloomy....
i never knew..... how much u suffered .... u suffered a lot.... and died...
saying to my mother !!!!! that .... this boy will weep .... when i am dead
dear bowji.... u said it right.... very right... i am weeping ... i am crying...
i am crying..... i am crying.... i am missing u...... please bowji... forgive me....
i loved u so deeply.... i cannot express.....
i wish u be alive.... let it be for ten seconds.... i will express my love for u....
u were so good in nature, so caring, so jolly in nature.... then why... why ...
i remained gloomy and remorseful .... keeping a distance from u.....
today, i am dying with my own guilt.... with my own remorse.....
but i feel .... ur soul has guided me to love kids.... i love my kids .... thinking ....
this love will fulfill this gap which i had created ......
but my love ..... my deep love for u cannot be compensated with anything..
dear father..... u remain in my heart.... when i comtemplate.... i weep... i talk to u ...
only to say u sorry.... only to beg u pardon.... and cry to the seven skies....
father dear father..... i love u... i love u.... i love u.....